a fresh new past.
ahhh. A fresh new past.
I plan on living life from now on exactly as I did when I could restrict like a champ.
and so far so good.
I use to eat a salad a day. and today that's what I did! I ate a salad at 4pm with no dressing and then an hour later a rice cake which I purged. Tomorrow I plan on running outside which I actually never really did, but I plan on going to a track and ACTUALLY running hahah.
I got suspended from school for a week for putting gum and dog shit on someones lock HAHAHA. So I'm using this as an advantage to get back on track. since 2010 started its been constant binging and purging so I want to turn that around.
I have been reading other peoples blogs for the last few hours and I'm getting really motivated and inspired! The way they describe feeling "light" and "thin" made me realize THAT'S what I want! THAT'S the feeling I love! and I want to be able to feel that again. Last night I watched "For The Love of Nancy" and tonight I plan on watching more movies about Eating Disorders, as much of an "Eye Opener" those movies try to be, they are very quite triggering hahah. I remember I watched "For The Love of Nancy" a few months ago and managed to fast for a week afterwards.
I forgot to mention I'm also drinking better! I've only had 2 diet sodas all day (drinking my second right now) and I drank water and threw in a green tea also.
I went grocery shopping with my dad yesturday and bought some food for my mini fridge in my room, I picked up:
4 Pattys of meatless chicken burgers (100 calories each)
50 calorie each sliced bread
3 different flavored rice cakes
Some weight loss juice.
My new rule is if its not in MY fridge I don't eat it. The foods I just listed are what I have to live off for the next week (plus salad).
So today was great and I feel like tomorrow will be to! If I feel like its going to be a good day, ITS GOING TO BE A GOOD FUCKING DAY! haha I plan on staying out of the house for most of the day also.
I may not blog as much as I use to this week because I REALLY want to try and lose as much weight as possible this week.
Now. I am going to go through ALL my magazines (I have MILLIONS) and I am going to write down EVERY diet tip or trick that will help me. I plan on starting up a huge weight loss "book". Basically its just a binder full of useful things. I already have like 3 "Thinspiration Books" but I'm combining them to make a SUPER book haha.
So anyways. peace and love everyone
P.S) I am also planning on getting a new layout for this blog (as much as I love this one) because no one (including me) knows how to follow or comment hahah
