So weird.
Ugh I truly don't understand.
I use to be able to fast for like a week every other week and stay under 150 calories a day when I wasn't fasting!
Now it's preeettty much impossible.
I mean. Today definitely was one of my much better days. I had
1 bell pepper and half a cucumber.
Then after I had a SMALL plate of spaghetti with a TINY piece of garlic bread.
Then I was about to binge! I had a half moon Joe Louis thing and one of those 90 calorie Cottage Cheese Things.
I purged. but barely anything.
Now a couple hours later and i just had another Green bell pepper and 2 crackers and a 100 calorie snack pack.
Disgusting. But I'm making progress, Less food and less binges.
I still feel yucky though, I've been eating all this food because I feel so depressed but I slap on this smile and crack jokes all day. Then I throw it all up as a way to get rid of these emotions that I try so hard to hide.
Once again - I am fasting tomorrow. I have E (God i feel like such a fall down every time I mention that shit!)
SO! Treadmill tonight while watching a movie or desperate housewives and then 2 day fast tomorrow.
I'm hoping a 2 day fast will help me stop binging and purging.
Well wish me luck.
Peace and Love guys
