Okay as I previously posted I binged, On top of that my parents make me eat a chicken burger. THEY NEVER MAKE ME EAT!
urg. On top of that my old best friend. She was basically a sister texted me some cheesy lame text saying if I ever need anyone to text her I'm "Still in her heart". HAHA fuck her man. She abandoned me at my lowest point. Like I want HER back in my life. I told her this and she is all "Seeing you pass out did me good" and "Your stupid. literally. At least I have an education" Its such a complicated past between me and her which I will tell maybe tonight.
I tried many times to become friends with her again and she fucked me over EVERYTIME.
I just really want to get fucked up right now.
I cant even think about food, It grosses me out. To bad I already ate 234567876543 calories today.
I'm in such a weird mood. I'm pissed and Sad and Aggravated.
Just so many things.
I want to kill someone.
This girl doesn't even know me any more! She hasn't talked to me in so long!
She doesn't know I have depression, or an eating disorder, she knows nothing about me now. She doesn't know about my cutting. NOTHING.
How the fuck dare she text me and just get me all revved up like this. I just want to knee her in the fucking face.
Okay I'm going to try and calm down. I think I'm going to go for a walk. I need it. For exercise and to blow off some steam.
I want Thin. I NEED THIN! I want drugs and NEED them.
I'm going to starve like a bitch starting now. Get rid of this extra fat.
I feel so useless now, STUPID, a fall down, Everything my *OLD* friend said is true. Which is why I'm REALLY pissed at her, Knowing other people think about me the same way I think about myself, ESPECIALLY my old BEST BEST FRIEND. I don't deserve food!
I Need to disappear. The closest thing to do is get so thin I either die.. or can walk by people without getting noticed.
I took my Anti-Depressant.
Literally like 5 minutes after if when I got the text message. For Fuck Sakes.
